The Absolute Faith

In total Faith and trust ,
I am an outsider
after all the guesses and doubts
realizations , understanding that
I am the one who has least faith and trust

it is so hard to even grasp the notion that
I have absolute no faith and trust in myself
hence in everything I do

it is like a string that attaches to every facets of my life
turn it up side down, in or out, sideways or around,
I can see the string on the verge of breaking

I am hanging over a cliff ,
hoping that I will not fall
hoping that someone can pick me up
but the fact is .. there will be NO one


the words are deceptive you said
the words are destroyble I said

I am the believer of the face truths
how gullable and foolish I am
I am the absolute negative builder
how bad can I get

I am drowning myself with my own negative thoughts

In the game of letting go
I struggle
what the fuck you said
love is just the prove of our existences in this world
with or without it

you still live foolishly

unless
you treasure every moment in every state
in every you and all that around you

unless you really see the truths,
and feel, and sense the truths
with all of your heart ,

you are going to live foolishly ,
until the end of the day

unless you have total faith in yourself